Don’t let fear run the showon September 12th, 2012
I realized why it is so hard to fundraise for the AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) and their Out of the Darkness Community Walk.
We don’t want to talk about suicide.
We are afraid that we will be labeled.
We are afraid that we’ll be looked down upon.
People will assume things.
They will assume that we have problems.
Assume that we know someone who died of suicide.
Assume that we weren’t good enough.
You know what I’m afraid of?
I’m afraid of hearing that one more person
is heartbroken and confused.
That one more person thought about suicide but didn’t know where to turn.
I fear going into the house when I don’t see movement.
There is no peaceful calm,
in the still silence
that today is the day I lose someone dear to me again.
So yes, I’m afraid of talking about suicide.
I hate fundraising for this.
I hate having to tell friends and family why its important.
But I can’t just keep waiting.
Waiting until it is too late.
Until someone I didn’t expect to lose
is ripped from me again.
I will make you uncomfortable when I talk about it.
Hell, I make myself uncomfortable.
But, you don’t get it – I don’t care about the fear.
Its worth it.
I will not lose one more person
because I was afraid.
I need to know that EVERYONE who knows me
knows that I am someone they can come to.
Because I “get it”
to please look at those you love, who love you
and realize that you are irreplaceable.
On Saturday I walk,
I walk with family,
I walk with friends,
I walk with widows.
I don’t walk “for Mike”
he let his demons take him.
I walk so that somebody else -
has the strength to confront theirs.
ButtonToBeans (aka Jess) Can be found on her blog- ButtonToBeans: Post-widowed reflections on yoga, life, love and healthy lifestyles. Where unique combinations of circumstances are shoved into one confused but rarely permanently-discouraged woman. Her interests and explorations include: organic foods, healthy living, yoga, food allergies, and grief. In 2010 she found that she needed to fulfill a destiny that she could never have imagined – that of a widow.
If you would like to donate to her upcoming Out of the Darkness Community Walk, please visit: http://afsp.donordrive.com/participant/Mikeytaylor