Jul01

the beginning or the end-a Widow tale

by hobby on July 1st, 2012

As I sat beside his hospital bed and watched his last breath, I still could not believe it…the Hospice nurse said don’t call unless you are sure, we know it will be really soon….and he stopped breathing…I leaned over and listened for a heartbeat, there was none and then a brief moment of panic..I ran to the bedroom to listen to the baby monitor that picked up every sound from his bed and it was quiet….another moment of panic..I knew..who do I call, the kids who I sent on their way earlier…It was about this time of morning or the Hospice nurse who had a 45 minute drive….I called the kids and then called her. I could not reach one of the boys but he was coming over anyway…he arrived to the news our love was gone. and so began the mourning and grieving….arrangements were already made and when the nurse came she pronounced he was gone and called the funeral home and they came with their big white hearse, lifted him and draped a cover over him to carry him away…even though my family was there I was alone….and so the grieving becomes part of every day…and then for me a point in time came…I had to choose….to go deeper into depression or make changes.two years after he left I began the slow process of change…I am here today because he helped me through the years to be stronger……I had to be…..thanks once again for listening to a stage of my grieving…

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