May30

The Greatest Of These Is Love — Our 2nd Wedding Anniversary

by GreggiesWidow on May 30th, 2012

 

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)
Today Greg and I would be married for two years. This is the third that I’ve spent alone.
Greg did not make it to our wedding. All the plans we had made he never got to see finished. He never got to see me in my dress. I never got to walk down the aisle as he was waiting for me with a huge grin and some tears.
On March 9, 2010 I lost my Greg in a car accident. 2 months and 20 days later, I sat in a friends apartment, whom I was staying with for the summer, without the man I was supposed to marry on May 29, 2010.
No one understood how difficult that day was and no one understands how hard the two anniversaries since then have been. Nor will they understand the ones in the future.
In 2010, one girl got so mad at me a few days later and told me that she thought I would be able to “get over” this and Greg now that the actual wedding day has passed. Loss is just not something you “get over”.
Missing my Greggie and so in love with him. Wish we could have experienced and had our wedding two years ago.
Earlier this am I watched one of my favorite movies and it was sad because I missed Greg so much.
Everyday I try to honor Greg and our love.
In what I do, in my faith and in how I love others.
Everyday is a struggle and by the grace of God I make it through each day.
In many ways living after loss is very very difficult. It’s hard to find things to hold onto. Maybe because few things gain your interest and maybe also because you are afraid of losing something else. Another thing. Another loss.
It’s hard not to think about what would we be doing today of Greg was here. Where would we be? What would we be doing? What would our life look like?
Would I have my masters degree and working towards licensure? Would Greg be back in school or going to the police academy? All plans we were working towards when our life together was cut short.
One way I honor our love on our two anniversaries is by putting a heart wreath out with Greg for the day, with flowers in our wedding colors. It’s the only time I put those colors out with him.
Another way I remember Greg on this day is by fixing and having one of our favorite meals. Today I made one of Greg’s favorite meals.
As night time approaches I contemplate watching our favorite movie. Not sure if I can handle that tonight.
The love we shared is enough to last a lifetime. I am so lucky to have had our kind of love. Our love lives on in me. Honoring Greg and our love today and everyday. I carry Greg with me always. I love you Greggie.  Yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever.
And I Thought I Loved You Then My Love
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All Material Copyright @ Greggies Widow

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