Comments on: The anniversary returns.

By: Nancefc

Nancefc — Tue, 03 May 2011 09:10:34 +0000

I’m so sorry that you find yourself in this position. My own father passed when I was 9, so I can’t imagine what my Mom went through all those years. It couldn’t have been easy. My husband passed 7 months ago, so every month on the 21st is an “anniversary”. While I’m not Jewish, my husband was tradition dictates after 11 months there is a “stone unveiling” – the Rabbi will say a few words and then friends and family come to the house (or restaurant or whatever) and just eat and talk. Not looking forward to it, but it is supposed to mark the end of the official mourning period, but not the mourning.
I have no children to raise, the kids are grown and gone. I was divorced for six years before I met Ken, so I know about the dishes, the endless work, and the bad cop routine. It’s so wearing.
You sound like a strong woman – light a candle, say a prayer, (or whatever you find gives you at least momentary comfort) and remember your husband would NOT want you to be miserable. Be gentle with yourself and remember you really don’t need to “do” anything. Just remembering the annivery is hard enough.
You must be a younger Mom, so please remember, if you want love again, it is possible and I know your husband would probably not want you to be alone in carrying the load.
God Bless, Nancy

By: Carole

Carole — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 06:27:02 +0000

So many things in this letter that I feel, have felt and sure I will feel.It seems that there will always be questions and hope that our hearts will stop breaking and find peace somehow. Carole

By: stacey4705

stacey4705 — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 21:08:17 +0000

May 11 th will be nine years for me. I have always allowed myself the time to reflect, remember and be sad. I listen to the CD of his funeral service as it was a loving tribute to him from his family and friends. Some of the stories are really quite amusing and bring back the essence of who Jeff was and how he lived his life. I know life can be hard and how tiring it is to live this way…so be kind to yourself and just allow yourself some time on this day to slow down and let yourself feel the emotions. Hugs to you!

By: brighteyes

brighteyes — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 02:32:20 +0000

Maybe your husband wouldn’t want you to be dreading this day…but there is nothing saying he wouldn’t feel the same way if he had to deal with your passing. How can you NOT dread it, NOT be sad or anxious? It’s hard to imagine that day ever being something you just have to get through with the least amount of damage to yourself and your kids as possible. I am sending you an air hug hoping you manage to get through it okay.

By: Maria

Maria — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 02:15:54 +0000

I hope the day won’t be too tough for you. You sound like such a strong woman. Hugs to you!! Hang in there.