The Widows Ringon March 16th, 2011
So I didn’t know till about two months or so ago, that there is actually such a thing as a “Widow Ring”. One of my fellow unwedded widdas, asked me if I knew about it because she was looking into getting one bc her beloved went to be with Jesus just shortly before proposing, so she wanted to get a ring.
I did some research and came across a website that has so many widow rings to choose from and they are all designed by a fellow Widda, Diane. The story of how the rings came to fruition, is amazing. She lost her husband, and wanted a ring that reflected what was in her heart, but could not find one. So she designed and had someone make the rings for her and she sells them at reasonable inexpensive prices. Even the more costly items are inexpensive. I mean come on we’re Widdas, and were pretty much all on a budget of some sort.
You can view Diane’s website and browse many different kinds of rings to suit where you are in your journey. www.expressionsofgrief.com there are discounts too.
I guess its time to address the topic of wearing rings. How long should widows wear their rings? How long is too long? Etc.
To me its always been a matter of whats in my heart. I choose to wear my ring for many reasons, one of the main reasons is because it reflects whats in my heart, and a symbol of our love and commitment to each other. Right now, that doesn’t end for me just because Greg’s with Jesus. I’m madly in love with the kid and I see no need to take my ring off at this time or move it to another finger or the opposite hand, etc. (Where would his ring go if I did that?) I really don’t see the need to justify my decision to anyone. It’s a personal decision, so I will just leave it at that.
I always wanted to get our wedding band, but never had the money to do so, as a reflection of whats in my heart, in my heart we are each other’s. And that’s that. I don’t really care if people agree or disagree or whatever, that’s their issue. I know what’s in my heart, I know how I feel and if that makes people uncomfortable, they can take that uncomfortableness elsewhere.
Walk my journey, then get back to me on your thoughts.
So there I was out of curiosity, looking at widows rings and they are all beautiful. Im not just saying that. Each ring that Diane has designed is beautiful in its own way, symbolic and unique to the journey. All are black diamond rings. I even shared my new found information about two weeks ago with one of my close widda friends, who decided that she is going to get one as well.
I saw several that I liked and was going back and forth on two different bands, finally choosing on the channel black diamond one. I got it the week before Gregs first Heavenly birthday, and I was going to wait till his Heavenly birthday to wear it (since that was when I became a widow and I usually do things on significant dates). But I wore it the first time a few days before for a little while, then at his memorial and left it on after that. When I was explaining that to Nancy (she knew my plans for it), she was so encouraging about being still and listening to God and wearing it that first time for awhile, and then just going with how I feel. Idk maybe it’s just a widow thing. Idk how to explain it. Maybe she can explain it better, I know shes reading this.
It’s a really pretty ring, and I wanted a band that didn’t take away from the elegant beauty of my ring. I didn’t want ppl to see it and miss my ring in the process. I definitely don’t want the two vying for attention. Not that a black ring doesn’t get attention in and of itself.
I support any widows (ers) decision on theirs and their husbands rings. I recently had a nice chat on TheWiddahood (www.thewiddahood.com), with a widower about his and his wife’s rings.
Really like I said before, its all about a matter of the heart. Its not about how much time has passed (omw its been 1 year or 2 years or 6 months and I gotta change my location of my ring now). No, nope, nada, it don’t work that way people.
You will know when the time is right for you to change fingers, wear it around your neck, make it into a necklace, store it away in a pretty box, melt it down into something else, etc. No amount of time is going to make it any easier when you choose to do so; and whose to put a time limit on this sensitive and personal part of ones relationship with their beloved and walk in their journey. It sucks all the way around, no two ways about it. No one or timeframe, should make you or force you into something. Its all about a matter of your heart, listen.
You should check out
www.expressionsofgrief.com and look at the many designs that Diane has created. There is a signature Widow ring and its beautiful as well, that you can wear if you no longer wear your wedding rings, but want a ring that symbolizes your journey and unending love for your beloved.
Its your journey, no two are the same. No relationship is the same, no two hearts are the same.
We all travel the same journey, but no two are alike. We’re all apart of the club no one wants to join and dreads of one day being a member of, but we’re all in this together. Thankful for Diane who helps us by giving us widdas an avenue to outwardly express our grief.
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